With time, voice note technology continues to get better and better. We now have the ability to skip forward, speed up, and pause these little gems of communication BUT, there are still folks who simply lack the craftsmanship required to be a reasonable voice note partner. I trust you’ll find the contents of this 7 step program below to be helpful, practical, and invaluable.
Know your place
If you have to ask yourself, “would they appreciate a lengthy voice note from me?” - chances are, you should send a text, email, or schedule a phone call. Voice notes are an art, an expression of love and closeness to some extent. Establishing a relationship built on voice note communication is not to be taken lightly. Stop trying to make it happen, babe.
Put the food down
The last thing people want to hear is you chewing and smacking your tongue against the roof of your mouth, it’s literally the worst. If you’ve sent a mid-chew voice note, just know that they’ve either listened to the entire thing with disgust plastered on their face (thinking less of you as a person) OR immediately pressed delete.
Text the details!
Very specific things should be sent in a text message: dates, times, addresses, timelines, numbers etc.
We need a paper trail. We need to be able to copy, paste, and reference things at a later time. Nobody’s trying to take “minutes” during your voice notes.
Pacing
Stuttering, stammering, talking in circles; GET. TO. THE. POINT.
If you’re not a professional voice-noter, go ahead and gather your thoughts before pressing the record button. If you’re telling a story, duh, we wanna hear all of the scumming little details, take dramatic pauses and give some nuance (for advanced storytellers only).
Background Noise
Are you in a loud area and is it imperative that you send a long voice note RIGHT NOW? Step away, go to the washroom, go outside - cut the noise. Screaming kids and babies (or you screaming at the kids and babies), delete us from your contacts.
Road Rage
If you’re an amateur voice-noter and an experienced road-rager, don’t record while you’re driving. You yelling inside of your car at drivers who cannot hear you? Ridiculous.
Because guess who can hear you? Us.
You’re disturbing the peace.
Hang it up, save it for later.
Disclaimers
If you’re about to say something completely out of pocket, spill some tea or disclose incredibly nasty details about last night, give a disclaimer… so the listener can connect their air pods and hang onto every. last. juicy. word.
Merch Recommendation: "Boring People Abuse Me" - WATERPROOF STICKER
Writers Notes
I’m in love with a good voice note. Voice notes are the magical space between phone calls and text messages, allowing us to illustrate tone, emotion, and style while listeners can tune in on their own time. But remember, voice notes aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay.
Anything I missed? Hit me up in the comments below
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