The 50/50 Dilemma: Why Do We Care?!?!

A Little Background:

So this story (why are we even calling it a story?) regarding Gabrielle Union and her basketball husband is circulating social media and sparking debate amongst the masses. Basically, our girl shared in an interview that (financial) responsibilities in her household are split 50/50 - let me tell you, the people were NOT trying to hear this. Since then it's been the talk of all towns.

This Is Stupid:

When the heck will this conversation end? First of all, how many of us can relate to these two multi-millionaires splitting household bills and maintenance fees?

*crosses arms, and waits for answer*

Yup, me neither…

In The End, Nobody's Opinion Matters:

Now, I’m not gonna hold you, the comment section can be hilarious on posts like this, we’re talking prime entertainment (especially if you have a rich sense of humour, like myself). Who else's eyes dart back and forth in amazement as random accounts go toe to toe, insisting that their opinion is the one and only true, correct one? I silently giggle while eating popcorn laying down, trying not to choke or drop my phone on my face*.

For the sake of entertainment, sure, I understand why these pointless discourses exist, but I think it’s time to introduce some new steamy subject matter to the algorithm that’s sure to incite verbal violence and incivility amongst internet strangers. Who is with me here?!

*removes sports bra and throws it in the air*

I Have The Answer:

So please allow me to unveil the ultimate solution to this seemingly never-ending debate. It’s literally so simple:

FIND A PARTNER WHO HAS THE SAME OR COMPLEMENTARY VIEWS ON THE MATTER. A PARTNER WITH WHOM YOU CAN GENUINELY COMPROMISE IF NEEDED.**

Other Things We Can Argue About:

Allow ME to be the saviour of our culture, with these bold opinions intended to turn dichotomy into disrespect.

1. If you didn’t wear crocs prior to 2011 and now you think they’re cool, you’re a culture vulture.

2. You need to have 3 sets of clothes available at all times: outside clothes, inside clothes, and clothes that can go on the bed.

3. People who reverse park are inherently better than people who front park.

4. As a grown woman, if I’m sleeping with you, you MUST stay the night.

5. Businesses who profit from cultures that do not belong to them should have to pay an additional tax, this money is to go towards community services and reparations.

6. Not just anybody can FaceTime me unannounced. 99% of my contacts require a FaceTime appointment. If you have to think twice before FaceTiming me, you’re likely in that 99% - text me and I’ll see where I can pencil you in.

7. People who access social assistance (welfare, OW etc) should not be required to address their caseworkers as “Mister”, “Ma’am”, or “Miss” - most government workers are ONE paycheque away from needing social assistance themselves.***

* I feel like this is more common than we think. Have you seen that around-the-neck phone holder? I gotchu (Amazon Link)

** "compromise" is not synonymous with "sacrifice" - please don’t make empty promises that result in deep resentment

*** I can say this as a former government worker