Doing My 20s in My 30s

Plot twist: I'm doing my 20s in my 30s. And you know what? It's both terrifying and exhilarating!

For a decade, I was the poster child for "doing everything right."

Multiple jobs? Check.

Student loans? Paid.

Corporate career? Secured.

House? Bought.

I basically speed ran through my 20s with a mental checklist, focusing on acquiring stuff instead of happiness.

The Masquerade

From year one in my corporate job, something felt off. I smiled through meetings, I was an absolute pleasure to work with, great energy, but inside… my soul screamed "GET ME TF OUT OF HERE!"

I remember being 23, having lunch with the 40/50-somethings and mentioning that I wanted to pursue a career in entertainment. They were very supportive and even mentioned doing a “4 over 5” to make the transition. For those of you who don’t know what a 4 over 5 is, it’s basically where your place of work will bank a percentage of your earnings for 4 years, then you can take off the 5th year all while still getting paid (your own money). So vividly, I recount holding back a laugh and thinking “oh, I don’t need that, there’s NO WAY I’ll be here in 4 years.”

I guess the joke was on me.

Breaking Free from the "Should" Timeline

Don’t get it twisted, I’m still working on this. There are a lot of “should’s” that run through my brain daily, here are just some of them:

• My career should’ve popped by now

• I should be selling way more

• I should have bigger contracts

• My network should be bigger

• I should have more eyes on my work

• I should be able to provide more lucrative opportunities

Leaning into the “let it be” and “trust the process” lifestyle doesn't come naturally (she’s a woman who is turned on by accomplishment and motion). While feelings of discouragement have never been a thing, I’ve felt incredibly impatient.

Things I remember to calm myself down when I’m spiralling:

• My timeline is MY timeline

• Life is short, but also.. life is long

• One thing at a time, even if I make one small step today that’s fine, just don’t stop moving

• Pivot when I need to, abandon sinking ships (especially when they don’t belong to me)

• My personal definition of success*

Finishing Unfinished Business

Starting over in your 30s comes with its own flavour of awkwardness, anxiety and insecurity. I find myself relating heavy to a subset of YouTube and Tik Tok videos, only to then hear the creator be like, “and this is what I’m wearing to my 24th birthday dinner.” WTF?!?!

While I'm lucky the biological clock isn't ticking for me (kids aren't in my plan), I still feel the pressure of time. I want to be able to fully enjoy the fruits of my labour while I’m still still hot. I want to be on the beach, flirting, sipping my lil’ drink, feeling confident and cute.

Ahhh, me and time, we have a super toxic relationship.

Practical Tips for People Like Me

• Start Side Hustling: If safety is a huge thing for you, test your dreams while keeping your safety net**

• Find Your Tribe: Connect with others who are going through something similar. This is the most solitary journey I’ve been on and it always helps to have people around me who get it, when my family and friends just don’t

• Reframe Your Experience: Your "delayed" start is still a start, always look at your accomplishments and honour how far you’ve come (gratitude can be hard when you’re in the thick of it)

• Set Micro-Goals: Break down your big dreams into monthly achievable targets, set yourself up for small successes - they’ll snowball into unstoppable energy

So here's to us, the late bloomers, the path-switchers, the "I finally figured it out" crew.

Your Permission Slip to Start Over: If you're feeling stuck in a life that looks good on paper but feels wrong in your soul, this is your sign to make that change!

*I have a mini notebook where I write down everything I want from life, and reading it every night really helps to ease my impatience as I can see myself aligned with everything I want (even if I haven’t yet acquired everything yet)

**I’m gonna level with you here.. this is one of the things that actually held me back from making the leap. Even with my side hustle, I couldn’t save a nest egg, and I live REALLY modest. After racking up a good amount of debt taking a chance on myself, here I am to tell you to do whatever feels right for you. We only get one life.

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